A couple of years ago I was on the stair climber at the YMCA when I struck up a conversation with a young mom.We got to talking about our kids, when she started to get animated about how “they” want him to go on Ritalin.After a couple of more references to “they” I asked her who “they” was.She was hesitant, and then answered…you know, the school.I guess I did know who she was talking about, but I really wanted her to think about what she was saying.And then just last night….a similar conversation began.It was at my home at a party I was having for some of my friends.The conversation was a typical one for moms in there 40’s.Children growing up and the choices they make.How we can deal with them and so on.One of my good friends, whose daughter is also a good friend of my daughter, began telling of an incident at the doctor’s office that week.She was quite upset when she took her 17 year old daughter to have her physical.My friend was asked to stay behind, while they went over the questionnaire and ensuing insurance information.When she questioned this, with tears in her eyes, she was told there were HIPAA laws that the office had to follow.Intermingled with all of this was a small reference to a waiver her daughter (and anyone’s daughter) could sign to allow her mother to join her in the exam room.So, you may be saying what right is it of the mother to impose herself on her daughter? I would answer, who is paying for the services?Who has spent the majority of her life focused on her daughters well being?Who has the best interest in and for her daughter? Who is going to give the most time and energy out of her life if, God forbid, her daughter is or does get pregnant or an STD?Do you not think this young well adjusted child would want her mother there while she is in such a vulnerable situation?And even if she says she doesn’t….SHE IS ONLY 17!!!! Why is it that we have somehow, abdicated this huge part of our lives to doctors and our government?What happened?So, that is my point.Stop abdicating.Stop giving up the responsibility of raising our children to “them.”Work hard at parenting.It is easy to become a parent, but very difficult to be a good one.In reference to the young mom at the YMCA, I have a daughter and she had an IEP (Individual Education Plan) most of her public school career.She had a very difficult time reading, which of course slowed her learning down, significantly.We were told many times that maybe oral stimulants (methamphetamines) may help her and that we should go get her “evaluated.”Let me step back a bit.When IEP meetings were scheduled, my husband and I (the parents of the child in which the IEP was being written) put together a meeting outline prior to the meeting and made copies for all of those who were scheduled to attend the meeting.Put this into perspective.The very influential public school advisers, along with the AEA, other staff members, and then me and John were to attend the meeting.Do you think that most parents would have the wherewithal to state their personal parental choice for their child if all of these educated, smart, seemingly caring people were pushing to another decision?But, I regress, back to the outline.You can’t imagine the startled looks the first few meeting we attended.It really took the administrator and others by surprise.Some of those in attendance appreciated the input and control we were taking.But, it was obvious that some were put off.How dare we try to make the decisions for our daughter?Didn’t we know they were the professionals?This may seem a big leap, but think a bout this.How is it that Stalin, Jong-il, Hitler, Lenin, Mussolini, Mau, Che, Chavez, Castro….and many more dictators got so powerful?According to Shanna Freeman, in an article she wrote called “How Dictators Work”, she states “Many of these dictators foster cults of personality, a form of hero worship in which the masses are fed propaganda declaring their leader to be flawless.”What is your opinion of State and Federal government and the organizations that they run, ie public schools, big labor, IRS, the list goes on?Even if you wouldn’t say they are “flawless,” do you realize they try to influence the masses by forms of propaganda?If these government entities don’t have followers/tax payers they cease to exist.You may be saying, well what about big business and the advertising they use as propaganda?It’s true, business use advertising as propaganda.The difference is society have choices when it comes to business and product in the private sector.Don’t buy it! Don’t go there! Don’t watch it!What choice does government offer us in education, taxes, retirement funding and even defense?We are abdicating our responsibility to State and Federal governments and not even thinking twice about it.This is where the grass root of dictatorship begins. Please bear with me as I finish up my story about the mom at the YMCA and my friend on the porch.I reminded her that she was the parent.And if she didn’t want to put her child on Ritalin, she didn’t have to.She looked surprised.“But, what about ‘them,” She said.“So what about them; you are the parent.” I’m not a big advocate against using medication in regard to children, but it has to be the parents that make that decision even if they are not as educated or as smart as the professionals.If the school and teacher can’t deal with the child with attention issues then the parents should have other choices in this regard.Sadly, they don’t.But that doesn’t mean we give up our responsibilities of being a parent.As for my friend and the doctor visit; when I took my daughters to their appointments, the office staff handed me and my daughter a piece of paper and asked her to sign it, telling us it would allow me to come in the exam room with her and that if needed I could call and talk to the doctor about her health care.Who better than me to help out?I love my daughters and only want the best for them. I’m not a busybody calling the doctor every week to find out whether or not my girls have come in to see her/him.But, I have called to order antibiotics, get help when they haven’t felt well at college/school and other normal mom stuff.By not abdicating means we are totally responsible and let me tell you its hard work.We never gave into the idea of sending our daughter into special Ed. classes. We never put her on amphetamines. We spent tons of time with her helping with homework.Evenings were not relaxing. Our other daughters didn’t get as much of our time, as they deserved.And most of all we have the contentment of knowing we did what was right.
